Insomnia

It’s late.  I don’t want to check because it will make me nervous. I have suffered from insomnia since I was 7 years old.  Once one is out of elementary school, this is a useful trait.  I could study well into the night.  I was able to read many books, mostly for entertainment.  As an adult, I was a much better employee as I was able to take work home and complete it with time left over.

At one point I was a single parent of three teenagers, had two elderly parents I cared for, held down a full-time highly responsible administrative position, taught two courses in a graduate program at night, was completing my doctorate, and writing books.  I subsisted on 4 hours sleep and didn’t really notice.

Now, I am retired. Many of my friends are older and are part of the early to bed, early to rise group.  Just about everyone I know is abed by 10:00.  While I like to sleep in a bit more now, I remain about the only person awake at 11:00.  My three adult children, from what I understand, are all in bed earlier.  My dog is asleep by 8:00.  My spouse is asleep soon thereafter.

I have tried many elixirs to speed sleep, all without success.  I rely on Calm, a sleeping app to assist in the process, but my Apple Watch Sleep tracker says my ideal sleep time is 11:15 p.m.  How can this be?  I am out of step with the rest of my age cohort and those younger and older. Oddly enough, if my mother was still alive, we would still be in sync, as she and I went to bed every night at 11:30, after the news.  Maybe, my sleep pattern is genetic or maybe it is learned, sigh.